Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
