i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
