Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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