Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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