Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
FUCK WHALES
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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