In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
