Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
