The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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