You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
