I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
