HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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