i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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