i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
