You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
