I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
