I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize