So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
