Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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