U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
