Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
