North Korea, Best Korea!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
