White coat. Heels.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
