You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
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My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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