so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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