One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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