Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
