I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
