We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
