I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
