she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize