Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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