so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
