There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
