After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
