he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
