On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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