It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
