I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
