he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
