I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
