Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
