well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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