finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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