Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
