Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
