you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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