The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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