So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
