We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
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it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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