Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
