So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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