I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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