I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Randomize
