so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
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i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
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It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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