this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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