508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
