I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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