Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
